You learn things you never thought parenting could teach you. The best experience about it, however would have to be witnessing the progress of a beautiful friendship. I wish it were as simple in everyday life. I could simply say that being a mom to 4 year old twins (who are so different in so many ways I often contemplate their compacity to want anything to do with each other) was a Gid given, perfect experience, that I couldn't imagine complaining about. I would be lieing, and I am not here to lie.
Having twins, as interesting and captivating as the concept may be, is no picnic.
It used to be little tiffs, not wanting to share a certain toy or watch the same television show, but generally in the first two years having twins was not that hard it was actually fun. They mainly enjoyed the same things, got along, understood what was expected of their relationship, and co existed without driving me nuts. They were always extremely funny, bright, loving and were great at following rules and boundaries.
Four, However is a whole other ball feild. They can talk, rather intellegently for their age, maybe that is probably my fault for refusing to nurture their innocense and talk to them as if they are babies. The things they say are sometimes crazy but mainly just a tickling form of entertainment.
Madison is completely over animated, confident, and bossy, she often is the ringleader of the other two. She is the brains, she is overly talented (and knows it) understands how to maipulate her behavior to get what she needs out of us. She is a suck up and has perfected the art of the diva attitude. You can often here her saying things like "heres the deal" or "who says that" "oh my gosh that's crazy business" "thats fine, I didn't want that anyway" if she really steps out of line and has earned herself a spank she is famous for her smart remark "that didn't even hurt." She is something else, the spitting image of my personality. She is so brave, and strives to be the best at everything she does weather it's coloring a picture, racing her brother, or recently perfecting riding a bike with no training wheels wich took her like, three minuets.
Caydens is a complete mommas boy. He is growing into an amazing boy. He so incredibly acedemically advanced. He is a junk food junkie. He is so caring and loving and easy going. He is a little more laid back and is cool not being in the spotlight. In alot of situations he is shy. He doesn't do well if he feels like he is being left out. He is alot quicker to cry or whine or to give up than Madison is but really has gotten alot better and is growing out of him. He is EXTREMELY stubborn and wants what he wants when he wants it. He can often be heard saying things like "fine! if you won't let me have this than I will eat junk food all day" or " I wont eat breakfast" he likes to look at you in the face and ask "why?" when you tell him no for doing something but still does it. He is very over dramatic but mainly a little more normal than his excentric twin.
Lately their new thing is their best friendship. As they grow they are realizing they are both 4, they are older than the other two, and that they're twins. Meaning it is unacceptable for anyone else to come between them. They have this new thought that if they are 4, and the oldest, and they are best friends than they can not include their little sister because she is a "little baby" to say in Madisons words. This really worries me. I have brought my kids up to love unconditionally to all be friends, to always be the nice kids, and not the mean kids. Bullying in my house is not tolerated. They are not even allowed to say words like "hate" or "stupid" and get put in timeout for name calling. Sibling rivalry is getting the best of me, and while I am glad they are getting along so well and have a friendship they will cherish for the rest of their lives, I am not sure I want it to be at the expense of Sienna's uninvolvement.
The way they all communitcate is astounding. The way they understand things continues to amaze me everyday. I realize I underestimate them in alot of ways. This is what I am workin on in my household at the moment. There are many reasons I want to homescool a large one is because of the bullying and pressure our kids face everyday in public schools. How do I ensure my children will not face the same complications at home? How do I protect them from sibling rivalry, competition, and idividual freindships? This is a problem I was sure I was not going to run into and it is certainly and issue I know they are capable of understanding is absolutely unacceptable in this household.
I want the same possibilies for friendship the twins have, to be an opportunity for all four of the kids.
Twins are a learning process expecially if they are your first. I just gotta figure it out. I see alot of time outs and pep talks coming in the future. I have sat down with Madison on two occasions and talked to her about bullying and picking on people. I hope I can change this before she finds hersel being one of those girls we all hated in highschool because her parents refused to give her a reality check. I am currently teaching Cayden to have a back bone and not listen to Madison, to make his wn choices and to be a good person. To never loose his compassion and sensivity.
Ahhh!! Wish me Luck!
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